Yer Blues!

You asking me how was it?
I don't know, I don't know
You asking me will i get through?
I don't know, i don't know..

Beetles bite my throat, silver hammer banging on my head,
Feel so self destruct, feel like i'm hearing bell from hell

Something in the pages needed to be knew,
Memory almost full,
I'm drowned inside this sick body,
Waiting to be rescued, but nothing worked.

All my troubles seems so near,
Now it looks that they're here to stay for another month,
My speed is low, my mind is blown,
Now i'm half the man i'm used to be.
Shit........

Time goes on, life goes on,
But i'm still stuck in this disease,
Pages never flip, but times ticked me by like a clip.

Why we had to go through all these hell?
I don't know i don't know.
Why we need all these thought control?
I don't know, i don't know.

Hey, teachers, leave us kids alone!!!
We don't need no examinations, we don't need no life control,
All i wanna do is to break free,
But reality entangles me in this shit!!

Weapon of Choice

I just got a new mouse- Logitech Gaming-Grade MX 518. I got it from India Ebay for Rs 1750(RM 160), which is very reasonable for a good mouse (even though in Msia it is sold for RM130 only). It just arrived yday after 4 days of my payment through bank transfer. Many ppl might think why spend so much on a mouse when u can get one for Rm10? Well, let me explain, a good computer input like keyboard n mice are very very important!

Nowadays working place hazard is a very important issue. Diseases like Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, tendinitis, backache etc is very common in many ppl. People sit in office for hours pressing their keyboard n mice to do work, some ppl use them for hours of extreme gaming, so it's actually a very good investment as a good mice n keyboard can actually last longer than ur computer, so it's actually like "once-and-for-all".

Last week i had pain n numbness on my right wrist, and there's big swelling and my hand feel super weak to do anything. It is not the 1st time i got this kind of prob, it had happened once a while, sometimes due to wrong position when i was sleeping; overstretched my wrist in sports or too much gaming at home. I spent around RM150 on all the X-ray, blood test, MRI scan, wrist band n drugs to find out that i was suffering from tendisynovitis of right wrist(swt!!). So out of frustration, i decided to hunt for a new and good mouse. i surfed through many websites to find out how to chose a mouse and which brand is the best. So these are my conclusions:

Here are some tips on mousing:

1. the shape must be ergonomic to fit ur right/left hand comfortably
2. large enough to fit the whole palm n without flexing or extending ur palm
3. mouse should be free moving + move the mouse using ur elbow as pivot, not the wrist
4. do not compress ur wrist on the table, and do not use a wrist rest cz it only give more compression n restrict circulation
5. ur forearm should be straight when u sit n move the mouse, n the wrist should be straight too
6. it's best to be positioned around the Numpad of ur keyboard

Ref: http://www.ccohs.ca/oshanswers/ergonomics/office/mouse/mouse_selection.html http://ergo.human.cornell.edu/cumousetips.html

After some times of research, i'd mark on a few:
Logitech VX Revolution Wireless Notebook Mouse (RM 275)
Logitech V450 Wireless Notebook Mouse (RM160)
Logitech MX518 corded gaming mouse

So now my next verdict: wired or wireless? In the end, i'm 100% gonna stick to wired, why?

• much cheaper
• no battery headache
• no interference with other wavelength
• no lagging or slowing down (which is the main criteria as a gamer)
• i do not travel along with my notebook

So in the end, i'd decided on Logitech MX518 corded gaming mouse, which i'm very pleased with

• very beautiful design
  
• very comfortable size n shape
• very smooth with it's high quality optical, even without laser technology
• with 6 customizable buttons, which i find extremely useful (i expect one day i'll be so used to the thumb buttons till cant live without them)
• can change the sensitivity on the go, which help me adjust to diff situations
• 1800dpi sensitivity
  

In the end, you might ask why i neglect Microsoft n Razer? First of all, i only trust Logitech cz Microsoft hardware is kinda disappointing. Secondly, even though Razer does produce very good gaming mouse, but MX518 is proven to be better than Razer Viper and Razer Diamondback, while other models are damn expensive. MX518 even though is not as 'high-class' as other Logitech gaming mouse like G5, G7, but it's the best of it's kind with very cheap price. Highly recommended. You can really own people with this weapon in gaming. Though nowadays i don't play game as much as last time, but it's still a good choice for everyday use.

Holiday (apparently)

Been long since i last posted, am not free (apparently) and kinda bored, so there was nothing significant to write about. We're now on "holiday", but not a free holiday, or i would say in another word- study break (swt). My 3rd sessionals exam is just 2 weeks away now. Shit, still many things to cover. I like the feeling of not going to school and stay at home studying, BUT, whenever there's too much time for me, i tend to 'waste' them. Procrastination! So basically, i'm still in deep shit in my preparation. I need to pass all subjects this time cz my previous 2 sessionals are really badly done.

Now i only have posting in th morning, Medicine posting, in the shitty government hospital again. It supposed to have started 2 days, but i'd not attended one yet, cz i overslept. My last Psychiatry posting always start at 10.30, but now it starts at 9, swt, cant wake up for both days. Tmr gonna go.

My mind already cant help thinking of the 80GB Ipod Classic i want to buy during holiday; my trip to Singapore; plus all the shoes n shirts n computer peripherals etc. I really miss home cz it'd been 10 months since i was back there. But now, what most important is my exam. I have to pass all the papers in order to enjoy my holiday. Ok ok, it's time to study again. So long..

Room For Squares

A new sem has started, n i've bought many new stuffs for my room, n oso for myself. I'm now in my 5th semester, and my university exam is on November, scheisse! Now, i have bought:
NEW:

1. 80L Videocon fridge
2. 2 foot x 5 foot specially made mirror
3. 5 new fishes-Red Zebra (my old blue fish named Stevie died after 11 months of survivor in my room, which can be considered a super good record)
4. mobile phone k810i, which i bought in Germany for only €160, n i'm lovin it!
5. Marshall 10W guitar amp, which sound so much nicer than my previous Kustom
   

These are the pictures of the 4 corners of my room, which is taken by my k810i in total darkness. Judge the quality by yourselves, to me it's the best camera phone around, hehe..





Last but not least, my new hair cut (credit to Liew) n hair color (thanx to Caryn) :-)


Many things are new, but one thing that had not changed in this sem is my subjects:

• Deadly Pathology
• Confusing Pharmacology
• Shitty Microbiology
• n Bloody Forensic Medicine

My 2nd year last 2 n half years, n i can't wait to get rid of all these nightmares, argh!!! Sessional exam is just 1 month away, n Uni exam is just 2 months away, damn!! Can't wait for 3rd year, which is so so free (if only i pass my 2nd year smoothly)
Ok, it's time to study again, which i hardly see any progress, every diseases look the same, every drugs sound the same, every microb appear the same, damn!
Maybe later Dota again with my juniors in TV room(yeah, at least some Indians who play Dota, usshh, time to bully them)

Cleanin Out My Closet

I just cleaned up my wardrobe, book rack, study table, wooden door. They are inhabited by fungus, molds!! I hate all those things, they were all around my room. Even though i clean my room every single week, but those white or greenish or black cotton like or powder-like organisms still hide somewhere at the very corner unseen, n during this stupid monsoon season, it reproduced so so much, argh!!! I had to climb and crouch every where and use detergent n then Dettol to wipe off all the disgusting microorganisms. Had to cover my mouth n nose with cloth to prevent fungal infection. Was kept on cursing Indian weather and environment while cleaning up my room. So dirty n dusty n moisty! Even after you wiped your laptop in the morning, by evening you can already see a layer of dust on the keyboard again. Shit! Look at this pictures of the white molds on top of my book rack.


I hate this monsoon weather, it rained too much, almost all the time. If it is not monsoon, it'll be hot like oven, crazy weather. Now, it is so hard to dry my cloths; so hard to wake up from sleep; n so hard to go out to the streets. I hate India even more after i came back from Europe. The road conditions is juz super super bad. Roads full of muds n water n stones n holes. Those stupid Indian contractors always 'eat' government money: they take the money themselves n use little material to make the roads, which cannot even last for 3 months. When u step outside, one car will come speeding and then drive through the puddle of mud right beside u n "Splash!", scheisse!! You are full of mud already!

Hate the dogs here as well. It is now 12am n suddenly few dogs just started to fight on the street n make scary n loud noises, shit! All the uncivilized Indian dogs, cannot compare to Europe dogs at all. I think the price to keep a dog in Europe is equivalent to feeding 100 indians already, damn!

I hate India. Even though i'd been here for 2 yrs plus, but still, i hate this country, hate the
conservatives thinking of the people (cz i was jacked by one professor for not tuck in my shirt, duh, go fuck yourself la, as if i care!) I'm pissed with many things here still. I think even after 5 years, i will still hate India. Such a dirty, uncivilized, conservative, unhealthy country, ceh! i can't stand to do my intern here, i wanna go back malaysia no matter what the course, cz i hate the local language as well..

The Journey

Barcelona

We were there for 4 days 3 nights. The first moment i stepped on Spain, my first thought of color is: yellow. It's summer so the whole city is super hot; plus Spain is kind of old compared to Germany, so everything looks 'yellowish'. The whole city is very nice, full of tourist attractions, surrounded by artistic structures and buildings, crowded by people fr all over the world. We went to many many tourist spots like La Pedrera, Sagrada Familia, FC Barcelona Stadium, Guell Park, Museu Nacional d'Art de Catalunya with its music fountain, Barceloneta Beach etc. Almost whole of Barcelona is 'made by' one architect named Gaudi. His inspiration of shapes from the nature made him put all his ideas into buildings, making almost the whole Barcelona looks amazing. Everything is beautiful, the buildings are really special, and of course, those hot spanish chicks are pretty too. Imagine it's summer, everyone wears very less, showing off their golden colored skin (especially at the stretch of beautiful beaches, u can see 'almost everything', hehe..) We walked around a lot, took many pics, did many crazy stuffs together, and had some Spanish food(Paella, seafoods etc) n Spanish drink (Sangria, Horchata). Here are some pics in Barcelona:

Nou Camp

La Pedrera

Guell Park

Sagrada Familia

Spanish Paella & seafoods

Musical fountain

Museu Nacional d'Art de Catalunya

Barceloneta Beach

Madrid

We were there for 2 nights. But compared to Barca, Madrid is less attractive, has less tourist and spots for visiting. The whole city is more 'royalish', as the royal family lives there, and more working class-look. We went to Santiago Bernabeu (Real Madrid Stadium), but never went in. It looks less attractive compared to Barca's. The official things sold there are more expensive too. Then we went to the Palace of Madrid; the Mayor Buildings, plus some other minor spots. At night, we went out searching for night live, but ended up teased by prostitutes, haha. We also visited the Toros Plaza, but never get to watch a bull fight as it is only held once a week. We were able to take a guided tour to visit around the toros arena and take some photos. One thing i missed was the Flamengo Ballet. We had not enough time for it and the entrance fee is just super high. That's all for our 5 days trip in Spain. Adios Espana!

Santiago Bernabeu

Mayor Building Madrid

Plaza de Toros

Munich

Our next stop is Munchen. We visited Allianz Arena, the stadium of Bayern Munich. What's the common interest all Bavarian have? Beer of course. So, at night, we went to Hofbrauhaus, the biggest beer house in Munich. We ate many pig meals (pig leg, pig steak, pig wurst), bretzer and each of us ordered 1 mafl of Hofbrau (Hof=royal, 1mafl=1L). But after only half mafl, i'm already quite drunk n super red. The next day we took 5 hrs train went to Fussen, to visit the famous Neuschwanstein Castle, which is nominated for 7 New World Wonders of the World. The castle is very fairy-tale-like, accompanied by a very mysterious yet interesting royal story of King Ludwig II. That night when we went back, we drank again at our Wombats Hostel's bar, 6 of us ordered 6 mugs of Paulaner (1.5L each mug). Sky got drunk, me n Jong vomited. The next morning we took a guided tour to the whole city of Munich, visited some churches, Marienplatz, Chinese Garden with its beer garden and nude park, Chinese Towers etc, and at the same time being told bout the story of Hitler in Munich. Munich is the starting point of everything of Hitler, n Hofbrauhaus is where Hitler made his very first public speech. After World War II, Munich was 80% destroyed, and all that we saw were less than 60 years old.

Allianz Arena

Hofbrauhaus

Neuschwanstein Castle

Government Building of Munich

Nude beach at English Garten

Stuttgart

We went there 1 day after we went back to Albstadt. We just went there for a movie- Die Hard 4.0, and walked around the city center for half a day, that's all.

Albstadt

This is our 'base', where all my friends stay. We started our trip here, and ended here as well. Albstadt is a village, very peaceful and clean and cold compared to other places in Germany. This is the place where i slept the most, ate all the free meals as my friends cooked for me everyday, and played football almost everyday. On 24th July, there came the end of my journey to the west and i need to go back. Chus Deutschland!!

City center of Albstadt

Mein Kampf

I'd never walked so much in my life. During this 1 week plus trip in Spain and Germany, 1/3 of our time are spent on Metro and walking on foot. Every night when i went back to hostels, i can't feel my leg. All my friends kept complaining bout my speed of walking as they have to kept on waiting for me. (come on, there's one thing called auto rickshaw in india, aiks, i'd never walked this much). As days went by, my legs felt weaker n slower. So when we were back in Albstadt, my performance in football is so bad and my leg movement just became too slow.
Besides, my another struggle is money. My expenditure is totally over my budget. I bought too many shirts, and all the metro fare cost a lot. Thankfully Zhang Zhi lent me 50 euro, and then only i'll have 10 euro in my wallet on my way back to India. However, money is not so important, cz i really enjoyed this Europe trip, and am looking forward for another one in the future.

"Flight ticket to Germany: €500"
"Expenditure in Germany & Spain: €1000"
"First hand experience of traveling in Europe: Priceless"

Back to my 'kingdom'

During my almost 3 days trip back to India from Frankfurt through Dubai, i was like going back to the past. Everything is so much different between a 1st world country and this 3rd world India. When i reached Bangalore, everything seems to annoy me once again. The traffic, the noise, the dust, the crowd, the food, the weather, the water, etc (can't name all).
Now i have to start to 'like' India once again, and since i'm back to the gloomy reality, i just realized that i'm so dead in my studies and my class attendance. Scheisse!!

Credits

Zhang Zhi - room provider, money lender
Kah Guan - transport minister, handphone buyer
Chuan Teng - meals cooker
Sky - drunkard, entertainer
Roy - meals cooker
Brian - travel planner
Jong - map reader
Dad - main money provider
Mum - emotional supporter
Liew & Ki Yang - Airtel credit recharger
Chong - iPod nano lender
Caryn - a heart far away whom i share all my ups and downs
God - blessings of journey mercy n smoothness

p/s: For all my pictures during the trip, click on iWebAlbum link at the side bar

Journey to the West

Bangalore

I departed from Mangalore at 5pm, reached Bangalore at 6 something. Then i took a hotel nearby and rested there till 2am. A taxi picked me up to the airport and off i go to Dubai at 4am. Au revoir India!

Dubai

The flight was 3 and half hours, before reaching the gulf. When i stepped down on the airport, i'm already at a very very big and nice duty free shopping center. There're so many varieties of perfumes, watches, electronic stuffs etc, all are cheap (drool..) iPod 30GB is only RM900+, wah.. However, i can't get caught up in shopping too long this time as i have a transit flight to catch.
The way to gate 39 is just too too far away, and the airport is longitudinal in shape, so i walked n walked very fast for the 15 mins before reaching the Gate. Then, off i left the beautiful gulf at 8am local time. But, i'll be back to have a good look at those cheap stuffs during my return flight as i'll have 5 hours before my transit.

Frankfurt

The flight got delayed for 1.5 hours, and i was so worried that i can't catch my train which is at 2.54pm. So frustrated. I prayed and prayed. However, the experience of the flight is so good that it overtook my frustration. Every seats have a personal LCD mini computer, and inside it has 100+ movies, 100+ CDs, and 40+ games. There's a controller for everyone to control their movies like a remote control and also play their games like on a game pad. I'd watched 2 movies on the plane - 'Goal II', 'Singing in the Rain', and listen to some musics while sleeping. One miraculous thing that happened is that when i reached Frankfurt Flughafen, it was only 2pm, at which i expected to be 3pm plus, thank God, i can still catch the train!!

After the custom and all, i was rushing like mad to the Bahn Station. (Bahn=Train). The station is very far away, so i had to run really fast and on the way kept asking people to make sure i do not get lost. When i reached the machines to retrieve ticket, i was like, OMG, all in Deutsch, and the train is 10 mins time. Ka Guan already bought me the ticket and i just have to is key in the number, but i duno how. So i asked the information counter and kind enough he straight away came and pressed everything for me within 1 min. After getting the tickets, i ran to the terminal, and at last, reached 5 mins earlier, phew, thank God.

The train is very nice and smooth and quite and fast. The sceneries outside is very green and clean, with all the typical 3 storeys cottage styles houses. The place is filled with green pastures and trees, and the whole package is very clean and clear, unlike the brownish color of India. I had to change the train after i reach Stuttgart, and after 3 hours of train, i finally reached Albstadt-Ebingen, and i saw my friends already waiting there for me.

Albstadt

Ahh, at last i reached my destination. The weather is cold and windy, and all my friends are in jeans and shoes and sweater, except me in a normal t-shirt. At first i liked the weather very much, so i wanted to wear like normal in India (slipers and t- shirt), but then the wind defeated me. SShhiivveerriinngg.. Roy and Brian and Ka Guan cooked dinner for me- pork, vege, chicken and eggs, all in chinese style, mmm, not bad. After dinner, when i looked at the clock, it says 8pm, but when i looked out at the windows, it is still blue bright (???? summer time, daz light last till 10pm, toink!). India time is already 12am( here is 3 and half hour slower, which means i'd gained equal amount of life, hehe). I'm tired already, very sleepy instead, so i straight went back to Zhang Zhi's house. There's no fan and AC, as the normal weather is already cooler than Genting.
So i got onto the fordable bed, covered myself with blanket, and dozed off....zzzz....

Till i woke up at 9am the next day, writing this blog, wearing long pants and a wind cloth.


p/s: Sorry i cant make put on any pictures cz i do not have a cam, and my new k810i is coming only on the next 2 days, hopefully before our Spain trip on Friday. All i can do is put up a hand drew picture.

Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head

Outside my windows are all rain drops... It had been raining heavily non stop since the past 2 weeks, and it'll last for another 1-2 months, zzz... I'm writing now with my instant noodle beside me. I'm not a big fan of instant mee, but since it's raining so nicely, lazy to go down to the mess.
It's the monsoon season now in Mangalore, and seafood will be scarce... Fruits now are scarce too, mango season is ending. Yum, miss the Alfonso mangoes here, but actually most of the high qualities ones are being exported (sold RM10 each in Msia), and the market and stalls here only sells second graded ones, the few i bought are invaded by worms, swt..
Outside my window is actually a mango tree, but it produces only cute small green mangoes to feed the birds, zzz..

Life is kinda boring now. Exam hang-over, but all my other neighbors already studying like hell since the first day after exam, swt!! The weather is super cooling and sky is always dark, make me being in a gloomy mood all the time.. Besides, since Caryn had went back Msia, my life is being reverted to single, which means super simple and super free and super boring..
The conclusion is: exam hangover + rain + cooling weather + boring = sleep, sleep, sleep (plus some gamings)..Super hard to wake up in the morning for classes and even postings now, aiks.. Super hard to sit down and study.
But from today onwards, i must start studying seriously already, since there's only half a year to my Final. Had also been committed to reading 5 chapters of Bible everyday, and hopefully i'll be consistent with all these.

Had just reformatted my comp (every half a year). Now, i changed the whole theme into Vista-like, from last time of Mac OSX Tiger..Now had been using my 'Mac' for half a year, it's time for another challenge. Plus since Mac Leopard is already releasing, makes my Tiger look outdated, hehe. Here's the link to the pic of my XP-Mac desktop:
Added whole lots of extra functions to make the whole package look nice, more Vista-like, and many cool features such as highly functioning dock, windows shadows, transparency, widgets, thumbnail of taskbar etc etc.. Here's a screenshot of my desktop.

What Hurt the Most?

Sometimes, i really don't understand.. I don't understand why God has to let out so much of sufferings.. Why God like to punish 'good' people? Why faith are always not replied by blessings? Why most of the times, our prayers just wouldn't be granted..

I dont know whether our God is really THAT good.. If He's really that good, why life cannot be a little bit more fluent and smooth? (i din ask for more, just little bit).Why people with lots of faith suffer but people without faith succeed? Why people who believes in he Lord in Heaven does not see or hear Him? Why those who believe in miracles never witness it? Why people who reject the Lord can still be successful? This leads to a doubt in me whether He wants us to glorify His name through our success? Why we have to be standing below ordinary non-believer? Why He wont want to perform at least some small miracles which can changes lives? Why He does not gives us a good testimony so that we can shout out His name to the world? Why He doesn't want great things happening so that people can see that He is truly the Lord of Heaven? Why He always cast doubts on people like me and Caryn and some others? We failed, but still press on, kept faith; failed again, press on, worked harder, kept more faith; failed again! have even more faith, work even harder, hopefully there'll be harvest in the end; but still, the ending is a bad one- it doesn't solve the problems now, but created a even much harder situation...How many times are we supposed to go through testings and problems? How much faith is actually enough?

Since young i have many many doubts on God.. At one time i doubted whether the Bible, or of what Christian so called the 'words of the God', is really true and totally applicable? Is there really not a single faults in it? Is it really that powerful? Besides, does reading Bible often makes your life better? Does praying more makes you feel better? Does going to church every week make you a better person? Does singing and praising Him makes you a happier person? I doubt all these... I think blessing is a gifts, a grace, not that you earn it or you work hard for it, but it just depends on whether God wants to give it or not.. Does a sinner will not be blessed? In fact in many cases, grace are pured on sinners more often...

I'd just finished reading 'The Alchemist'.. I was touched by many of the teachings in the book.. Though it's not a Christian book, but it makes a lot of spiritual sense.. For example, it says: The whole world is made by One hand, by spoken words (no doubt bout it); every single thing in this world is all linked together (true), and the most important thing that bind them all is a thing call Love (Yes); God tells a language that everyone in this world understands, but it all depends how carefully you listen and observe the omen..

Everyone is created with a destiny, it depends whether you wan to fulfill it or not - either way is not wrong: fulfilling your purpose makes you feel 'satisfied' and more complete, but without fulfilling it, life goes on as ever, just lack of something (so what?)..
"If you really have the heart and will to go after something, the whole universe will help you to do that" - i think it's rightly so when refer to God as well, because a loving God and omnipotent God just doesn't have 'one' way for you, but one of the biggest gift He gave to us human is 'choices'.. We have our own freewill to do whatever we like, and if it is pleasing in His eyes and does not disobey the Laws, i believe He will still bless us and help us..

Besides, does it mean other religion is wrong? I don't think so.. Just as what CS Lewis said: Every religion in this world, even the queerest ones, has its own very truth. It's just like arithmetic, there are many many ways of solving the problem, but there'll be only one final answer. All things are from One, and in the end it'll all return to One... Besides, does it mean being a Christian is better or 'cooler' than being a Buddist or Muslim or Hindu, No! I believe everything can leads to the very core truth, and maybe, Christianity is the closest among all.. But still, i hate religions, or even want to discuss bout it.. Religion is the worst enemy of this world- it provoked too much wars and complications, from the very beginning of the age till this very moment, every war that happened are actually, though indirectly, a Holy War.. That's why i always refer our christian believes as a "relationship", not a religion..

There's One God (or i should say triune Gods) who created this earth, then out of love created us- the human beings, and out of love, he guard over us and longs for a intimate relationship with us, which is why He sent His only begotten son Jesus Christ to die for us... And one day, He will come back again and destroy everything and make all things new again.. But in this difficult times, why He seem so distant? Why there's no miracles, no blessings?

Still, i don't understand a shit.. In this time of darkness, faith seems so faint, and it's so hard now to ever make another leap of faith... Why? Why?

Leaving On A Jet Plane

Had not been posting for a long time.. Was busy for exam, and besides, there's particular nothing significant (and at the same time, publishable) events happening to me.. So now, just to round off my semester with some thoughts...

I'd just finished my exam 3 days back... The past 3 weeks time were hard, especially for a person like me... Study and study days and nights but still couldn't finish the scope, if not can't remember well , if not mix up every classification of drugs or bacteria or pathogenesis, if not couldn't reproduce my thoughts systematically on the paper.. I'd tried hard to do much better this semester, but in the end, the results was quite bad as well, aiks...

The time table of this semester is more free, basically 5 hours less of study time in a week compared to last semester, GOOD!!! Can sleep less in the class and more on my bed.. One stupid thing i hate about is that there's no break AT ALL after our exam- the very next day itself was the starting school day of new sem, damn!! Almost half of my classmates bunked the classes and went back home or traveled some where else... So no mood to study now, and am just reading story book in the classes now..

I'm not going back to Malaysia, though most of my friends do.. But nevermind, because in 1 month time i'm flying off to GERMANY for 13 days!! (from 11th July till 24th July).. I'd always wanted to visits all my good old friends over there in this 5 years time when they're still there, and i think this is the best time to go, since i don't feel like going back.. Already bought the tickets and settled most of the transportations.. The schedule is like this -

Mangalore <-> Bangalore <-> Dubai <-> Frankfurt

Then, me and my friends over there will travel to SPAIN days!! Then might go FRANCE also!!
I'm already counting chickens for the days to come.. Already started dreaming of the Germany where the cruel dictating legend lived during war time, the land once filled with fear and blood but now pride and modernization... And also can't wait to see the beautiful and traditional Spain full of unique culture.. And not to forget for the few ours of my time at one of the richest country in the world-United Arab Emirates: the world one and only 6-Stars on-the-water hotel; the place where the richest people all over the world invest their money in; the palm-tree-shaped artificial lands with the most luxurious houses on it; the land with no trees but full of concrete buildings arranged like Lego blocks when seen from above..

On top of all the excitement now, i'm facing some problems right now.. First of all, I need a 'companion' through out my journey, and since i'm travelling all alone, what i need is a good gadget and a good book.. Me have no camera, no mp3 player, and only carrying a noob old hp in my pocket..In the beginning, I was thinking of getting an 30GB Ipod , for my unique collections of musics and some movies and pictures.. But now i'm attracted to Nokia N73 Music Edition.. The current Ipod can't satisfy me: too short of battery time, too small of screen, the resolution of the screen is too bad for watching movies, and it's still too big of size and weight.. I'm doin all kinds of research on N73 ME now, then at the same time discovered SE K810i.. Liking both of them and comparing.. Conclusion is: N73's pic is not as good as Sony's, but n73 gives 2GB free memory and have bigger screen; k810 look damn cool, has Xenon light which make night photos good, and N73 can't take night photos, slow in response and hangs a lot... So verdict is? I really don't know yet.. Will try out both phones at the shops to decide...If worst come worst, i'll buy back SE w810i, cz i still love it very much and i think it's still the most lovely and stable and durable phone...

Second problem, a bigger problem: money money money.. My air ticket to Germany is bout RM2500 to n fro, my local flight RM230.. My dream gadget cost bout RM1500, and my estimated spending in Spain will be about at least €600, n i will bring €700 just in case(RM3200)..
Now, my active bank account has only RM 2800, damn.. (most of my money is in FD, which i can't take out after few months time).. Daddy, i know it's bad to ask money from u, i never want to, but i have to, aiks.. I'd never thought traveling in Europe will be so expensive... i expected to spend ol RM 5000 in my trip, but now it cost bout RM 6000+, plus i really need a new gadget with me now, to keep me occupied for the long hours in flight and airports and trains etc...

What Becomes of the Broken Hearted

On 2005, i blogged about the most exciting football comeback in history in UEFA Champion's League.. In 2005, Liverpool were 3-0 down to AC Milan but the Reds came back 3-3 and won the penalty shootout to lift the cup for the 5th times in our history.. This year, 2007, Liverpool met AC Milan again in the Final of the most ludicrous club football competition in the world.. Last night, we lost 1-2 to Milan, 'thanks' to 2 goals from Pippo Inzaghi.. Dirk Kuyt brought one goal back for Liverpool at the 89th minutes but the stupid referee blew the whistle 30 seconds earlier, disallowing Liverpool to make another miraculous comeback this time, shit, i've had the feeling that Liverpool will score at the very very last seconds for the past few days when i played PES with friends, and go on to win 3-2, but shit, referee blew the chance off... Anyway, this is not the thing to be blamed..

In the 1st half, Liverpool played so so well, controlled the game completely and was attacking and trying, had some good chances but just missed a goal, until right before the end of 1st half, Pirlo's frrekick at the edge of box was very luckily deflected in by Inzaghi's body, damn!!!

Then in the 2nd half, Liverpool started attacking again, made some changes by putting in Kewell and Crouch, but goal just couldn't come, until 84th minutes when Liverpool left too much space behind and Kaka got the ball and had too much time and finally made a pin-point pass to Inzaghi who slotted the ball very cooly and skillfully passed Reina into the empty net.. "Fuck!! 2-0 down, with 6 mins left, can we do a miracle again this time?" Hopes came when Liverpool got a corner and the Agger headed the ball to Kuyt and Kuyt headed the ball into Milan's net.. 2-1!! 3 minutes to go!! Possibly another God intervened miraculous comeback by Liverpool? No! whistle is blown!!! Fuck!! Disappointed, devastated, discontented, but not discouraged, disheartened..

We had beaten Barcelona, the best team in the world; Chelsea, the richest team in the world to come to this final, but to lose in the final is just heart breaking...Yea, we lost this time.. But we fought really hard, we ran like mad and our energy level was like so high that we were non stopped trying and fighting... We played really well, controlled the game totally (Manu fans, this is how u should play against Milan, haha) However, what matters most in the end of the day is the results. No matter how badly u play, a win is a win, and no matter how hard we tried, a loss is a loss.. But at least, the players can come off the pitch with their heads held high, saying: We'd done our very best, only that luck wasn't not our side this time. Even though we lost, our fantastic fans are still giving an applause and ovation to the disappointed players, singing "You'll Never Walk Alone"We'll try harder next time, play better, buy in more world class players and be more consistent next season. Take the defeat as an experience and learn from mistakes, and be stronger mentally. Who never lose? When there's a winner, there must be a loser, life's like that. Just walk on, walk on, all these defeat you can leave behind but continue to walk on to the future.. Go Liverpool FC!!

When you walk through a storm,
Hold your head up high,
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of a storm,
There's a golden sky,
And a sweet silver song of a lark.

Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Though your dreams be tossed and blown....

Walk On! Walk On! With hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone....

You'll never walk alone

Walk On! Walk On! With hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone....

You'll never walk alone.

The Boxer

I had watched some boxing movies for the past few days. Why boxing is the best sports movies around? Why not football or basketball or whatsoever? That's because boxing, though not the most famous sports in the world, reflects human nature the most. It is the most brutal, most deadly sport, yet full of struggles and high spirit. Every boxers fight for they own course, be it pride, money, family, friends, company, believes, dreams etc.. We all fight, everyone fights. It might be a physical fight, or mental fight, or even spiritual fight. Everyone has dreams, and we will fight for it. We fight for our career, for our loved ones, for our hope, for our faith, for our country. Sometimes we fall, we lose, we bleed, but what matters most is that how you gonna pick yourself up again within the count of tens and start fighting another time. Here're 4 very great boxing movies i'd watched:

1. Rocky (1976) - Silvestre Stallon
Winner of 1976 Oscar Best Picture. I decided to watch this after i watched Rocky Balboa(2006) not long ago in cinema. Who doesn't know Rocky series? It is as famous as Star Wars, and there're total of 6 episode. It tells about a good young fella name Rocky Balboa, a middle weight boxer who takes delight in helping people, guiding young people who're in the wrong path, and never stop dreaming of his dream. I enjoy his kindness showed towards pets; his innocence while courting his love Adrian; his trueness towards his best friend, Pauli, and his determination to keep fighting. You'll get motivated by watching this, especially during his training sessions. The most memorable scene for me is when Rocky rejoicing over his successful training in front of the Great Library.
Favorite quote:
Rocky: I can't do it.
Adrian: What?
Rocky: I can't beat him.
Adrian: Apollo?
Rocky: Yeah. I been out there walkin' around, thinkin'. I mean, who am I kiddin'? I ain't even in the guy's league.
Adrian: What are we gonna do?
Rocky: I don't know.
Adrian: You worked so hard.
Rocky: Yeah, that don't matter. 'Cause I was nobody before.
Adrian: Don't say that.
Rocky: Ah come on, Adrian, it's true. I was nobody. But that don't matter either, you know? 'Cause I was thinkin', it really don't matter if I lose this fight. It really don't matter if this guy opens my head, either. 'Cause all I wanna do is go the distance. Nobody's ever gone the distance with Creed, and if I can go that distance, you see, and that bell rings and I'm still standin', I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, see, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood.

2. Cinderella Man (2005) - Russel Crowe
Nominated for 3 Oscars. This movie tells a true story of 1930's middle aged boxer James Braddock who lived in the era of the Great Depression, at which the rate of unemployed is highest in America history, including a Braddock who has a wife and 3 children. Boxing no longer earns him a living and his powerful right hand is inured. However, in oder to save his family, he decided to fight again. His love for his family and his determination carried him through inspiring and unpredictable wins in the ring. He showed that heart is bigger than skills. His achievements inspired many Americans who 're suffering during the period, and people started calling him Cinderella Man. This is a very touching movie, and the fighting scenes are the best i'd ever seen.
Favorite quote:
Jim Braddock: You think you're telling me something? Like, what, boxing is dangerous, something like that? You don't think working triple shifts and at night on a scaffold isn't just as likely to get a man killed? What about all those guys who died last week living in cardboard shacks to save on rent money just to feed their family, 'cause guys like you have not quite figured out a way yet to make money off of watching that guy die? But in my profession - and it is my profession - I'm a little more fortunate.

3. Million Dolar Baby (2004) - Hilary Shwank
Winner of best picture in 2005 Oscar. It tells a story of a poor girl, Maggie, who wanted to be a boxer. Former boxer, Frankie(played b Clint Eastwood), at first reluctant, but at last touched by Maggie' determination, decided to break the rule and train a girl. Maggie came out to be successful, and bought a house for her unloving mother and sisters. However, mishap happened during a fight and she's paralyzed. The final 45 minutes of the movie is very heavy and moving as we struggle in the case of euthanasia. This is a very different kind of boxing movie, very touching.
Favorite quote:
Frankie Dunn: I swear to God, Father, it's committing a sin by doing it. By keeping her alive, I'm killing her. Do you know what I mean? How do I get around that?
Father Horvak: You don't. You step aside, Frankie. You leave her with God.
Frankie Dunn: She's not asking for God's help. She's asking for mine.
Father Horvak: Frankie, I've seen you at Mass almost every day for 23 years. The only person comes to church that much is the kind who can't forgive himself for something. Whatever sins you're carrying, they're nothing compared to this. Forget about God or heaven and hell. If you do this thing, you'll be lost. Somewhere so deep you'll never find yourself again.
Frankie Dunn: I think I did it already.

4. Raging Bull (1980) - Robert De Niro
Undeniably one of the best movie ever made, combined by the best actor of all time and the best director of all time, Martin Scorsese. Raging Bull tells the true story of Jake LaMotta, a middle weight champion who is on his way of self destruction. His rage and violence made him unstoppable in the ring, but there're a lot of inner struggles. We will hate this character but at the same time sympathize him. His feeling of insecurity towards his beautiful wife Vickie, his doubtfulness towards his own loving brother Joey(played by Joe Pesci) , and his lack of self control towards his sexual desire and his short temper made him loss everything he once earned. Raging Bull is undoubtedly De Niro's best performance in his career, and he deservedly won the best actor in 1980 Oscar, as he gained
Favorite quote:
Jake La Motta: Did you fuck my wife?
Joey LaMotta: What?
Jake La Motta: Did you fuck my wife?
Joey LaMotta: [pauses] How do you ask me that? I'm your brother and you ask me that? Where do you get you're balls big enough to ask me that?
Jake La Motta: I'm gonna ask you again, did you or didn't you? Just answer the question.
Joey LaMotta: I'm not gonna answer that. It's stupid. It's a sick question and you're a sick fuck and I'm not that sick that I'm gonna answer it. I'm leaving, If Nora calls tell her I went home. You know what you should do? Do a little more fucking and a little less eating, so you don't have to blame it all on me and everybody else, you understand me? You're cracking up! Ya' fucking screw ball ya'!

Battle of OS

Windows Vista is out. The whole worlds of softwares and hardwares are influenced. What struck my mind first was the"system requirement for Vista", and the requirement seems to be:
2.0 GHz Intel Duo Core, 2GB of RAM, takes up 15GB of HD spaces (XP takes only 1.2 GB), and 128MB of display card. Woah! What a ridiculous requirement!!
U need these specs for optimum performance, which means no lagging, no waiting, smooth animation and able to open many programs at once.
I think NON of the PCs at home right now actually supports Vista perfectly, and so upgrades are absolutely necessary. Why upgrade to Vista when you can upgrade past it? Get a Mac, once and for all.

Revolution vs Evolution:
All newer version of Windows are revolutionary. It takes u into a totally new hype. You need to start all over again to learn the place of each icons. Most of the changes in Vista are actually unnecessary. Microsoft 'change for the sake of changing'. Now, user need to find harder and press more clicks to get to something. However, Mac OS X had been evolving steadily throughout the years. Mac had done a much better job in R&D. They bring you new improved stuffs in newer versions instead of changing things unnecessarily. Apple 'change for the sake of serving better', keeping their simplicity. See, in the past 6 years since XP, Mac had come up with 5 versions of upgrades, and Microsoft only 1. What was Microsoft doing all these while? Ah ha, busy tackling spywares and viruses.

Why I Love A Mac?

1. Look and feel
Vista does look much better than XP, but compared to Mac, still a far cry. (ps: most of the icons in Vista are actually Mac-look-alike.)

2. Secure
Mac has no virus... One, because hackers are busy attacking Windows who dominated the market (market share: 95% Windows; 4% Mac, 1% Linux), and two, Mac work in a much safer and stable background.

3. No spyware
Mac has no spyware or malware problem. All softwares that comes with Mac are totally stable and their performances are adjusted to the optimum.

4. Fast
Mac has no lagging, no hanging. It brings out the best from 64- bit Intel Core 2 Duo 4MB L2 Cache and other specs. That's what you need for speed.

5. Easy
Mac's learning curve is easier. Vista are way too complicated for older people, busy people, and even for advanced users as more clicks are needed. Mac make your life easier and better.

6. Everything's ready
Mac comes with the best softwares. What software Windows Vista actually provides? Erm, Windows Movie Maker which cant even make a good movie; Photo viewer who can do nothing except, ya, viewing photos; Windows Media Player which basically can only play musics and movies; IE7 which even though claimed to be more secure but actually not; newly added Windows Defender which acts as anti-Spyware program but still misses too many Spywares. (ps: you cant even type or make slide shows. Why? You still haven spend extra money to buy and install Microsoft Office.)
With iLife you make a movie, publish your own podcast, create gorgeous coffee-table books, produce a Hollywood-style DVD, state your views in a daily blog, make beautiful music etc.

7. Safe
The MagSafe Power Adapter. No cord attached. Imagine u tripped on a PC wire, "bang!" Ur PC fall and gone. You tripped on a Mac wire, "pop", the plug unplugged just like that, Mac intact on the table. Cool!!

8. It just works
No hardware drivers needed, no reformat needed, no nothing. Simple? Cut out the hassles of PC reformatting every time you got a virus attack and take up hours for system reformat, programs installation, drivers installations blah blah blah. With Mac, open the box, everything is ready. Plug in anything, they just work.

9. Relates well with PC
Who say Mac is not user friendly? No games? No Network? No programs installation allowed? No way to interact with a PC? Tell u what, Mac comes with perfect LAN n wireless networking with all PCs; Mac has Microsoft Office!! Mac has MSN messenger and Yahoo messenger; Mac allows only good softwares, not stupid malwares or whatever cool stuffs you need cz Mac already has the best stuffs; and many many games nowadays works on Mac.

10. Trend leading
Windows Vista is an OS Microsoft created in order to become more like Mac. Mac takes months to develop, but it took Microsoft 6 years to imitate a Mac. Now that Vista is out "Woahh, see, we're now quite similar to Mac OSX Tiger!!" But so what? Mac OSX Leopard is already around the corner. Who's faster? Mac is leading the trend and Microsoft is playing catching up and copy-cat.

11. Value for money
Mac is hardly affordable? A MacBook cost around RM4000-5000. A PC similar to the spec Mac provide? RM4000+. Forget another RM200 on anti-virus program, another RM100 on antispyware program, another few hundreds on hardware upgrades. Mac is expensive? Haha. Get a Mac, you'll use it for 5 years without s single upgrade; get a PC, prepare yourself extra money in the future for any malfunction or repair or system upgrade or program license renewal.

This is not an advertisement for Apple. All these are just my personal insights and dream. After some serious thoughts, doing some research and reading some reviews, i decided to share my views. Buying an Apple? Well, at least not so soon for me. Upgrading to Vista? Don't think so. Right in front my desk now is still an Acer laptop with WinXP. It had served me right and i love it and am enjoying it to the max. The most i did was to make my PC look like an Mac: (grin)
To see the cool funny ads: http://www.apple.com/getamac/