Exam!!

My theory exams starts today... Community medicine was over, and i wasn't prepared. Came out within 30 mins, hehe... Microbiology tomorrow. Struggling, some topics now only the first time reading. Well, got bored, so just drop by and leave some spots on my blog. My practicals are over last week, and my theory papers will be ending on 15th Dec. Hmmm, 1 more week before holiday. Going back on 18th Dec, for 1 month(till 14th Jan)... Looking forward to it.
Hmm, exam period is as boring as ever. Everyone else just stay in the room studying, boring people, aiks. She went back for holiday earlier than me, so my life is basically back to single and quiet, and dull, though just for this 2 weeks before we can meet up again back in Kuantan.

All my friends back home, looking forward to meet up with u guys and girls!! Christmas, here i come!! 2007, here i come!! Malaysian food and places, here i come!!! Haha!! Mum and dad and bros and Doggy, here i come!!
~FLASH~
Oops, back to reality- sitting in front of unfinished text books. Hell again. Argh!! Better resume my study now.. Bye...

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

Tonight, me and Caryn went for a musical play - Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. It was held in St Agnes College auditorium. Not a big and nice hall though, with wooden old chairs, no AC, small stage, no great lightings... This is the first time we both watching a musical play live, so we were quite excited about it, but, when we thought that it was held in India, performed by Indians, and without great environment, hence we were not expecting much as well, just to enjoy our first time experience, and the more important thing to us is that the person who will be sitting next to us when we watch it :) Well, to be honest, it was her insistence since the last few days that made me go and buy the tickets and watch the show with her, cz she's a big fan of musical plays. :P

However, to sum it up, the play was great. Even with limited sources and spaces and effects, the 'actors and actresses' managed to present a decent and satisfactory performance. We both enjoyed it, and i'm sure other people do. The players had managed to let us focus on the their skills and music and dances and expressions rather than the stuffy weather and uncomfortable chair. Plus, their english accent is excellent. Well, the story is basically set in the old 'cowboy' era. A man, Adam Pontipee, the eldest , goes to town and finds himself a wife. He sees Millie and decides that she is the woman for him. Millie was shock to see that Adam's house actually are also preoccupied by his 6 brothers. So, after sometime, she sets her mind to helping them to find girls of their own. So, the whole stories travel around the theme of courtship; the position of men and women; and of course, love. The musics and dancing were pretty decent, not to say great because we can't compare with the casts in the movie of 1954. Still, musicals are great and fun to watch. It makes you feel comfortable and happy. The musics always cheers you up. Long live musicals still, though i'm not a big fan of this genre.

Well, it was a happy moment for both of us, and after the show we had dinner together. Now that i'm back in my room, it was already 10pm and seeing the whole bunch of books on my table makes me sick again. Exam starts in 3 days time, damn. Ciao, study study.

Mysore and Ooty trip

I, together with a bunch of 12 batchmates, went for a 3 days 2 nights (ermm, actually there's no nights) trip to Mysore, then Ooty... There was a 4 days holiday due to Divali and Hari Raya, so it's our chance to go around India for the 1st time (yes, 1st time in 1 year plus). It was a good experience being able to travel around another country, and experience the Incredible India. However, the whole trip was too rushy(imagine we spent all the three 12am's in the bus ride, and i couldn't enjoy and relax much). Here are some photos we took during the trip:

Our 1st stop in Mysore, our breakfast of the famous Mysore 'Dosa'

Our transportation all around Mysore city - 13 ppl in a jeep, damn!!

At the front gate of Chamundi Temple, possing with the demon which was said to be killed by the Gods of the temple

Group photo at the entrance of Bird Park

Splashing water while boating in Bird Park

At the great Mysore Maharaja Palace

In front of the arena where Kings used to watch procession,what an awesome architectual!!


St.Philomena's Church

Me appreciating flowers and fountains at the beautiful Brindavan Garden; there's a Music Fountain

In Parlane Restaurant with drawings on every walls

Unique designs at Parklane Restaurant

The very next morning, at the peak of Ooty (n we're supposed to feel real cold :P)

Ice cream challenge under cold weather

Another pic on peak

Pic with locals at the peak... and i'm already in 'full metal jacket'

The "Ooty Boy Band"

The huge tea plantation

Back to India (ermm, like one month ago?!)

Sorry for not posting since i came back to India; was too lazy to put up all my thoughts. Well, now let me put up something at least...

Erm, i reached here on 1st of Aug, discovered many new juniors, so life was kinda more exciting... There a total of 73 JPA students here, and 30 private students, haha… This place is becoming more and more ‘malaysianised’, will be greater than Manipal one day cz we have more entertainments here, hehe…And life will not be as dull as last year, hopefully…

I'm now doin 2nd Year MBBS, ppl said it's honeymoon year, but 2nd year life sux, too hectic... Imagine for 1 and half year everyday class starts at 8am, then ends at 5 pm, siao!!! Somemore Mon to Sat got posting in hospital from 9.30am till 12pm. I am posted to Wenlock Hospital, a government hosp. which u can never imagine how bad it is. The building was like a ghost mansion, then the beds in the wards are all karat and bengkok, the matress like plastic, and the bedsheets all damn dirty and the toilet like shit hole. Plus the shitty and urine smell all over the place, yuckz…The patients come here with all kinds of weird sickness including TB and AIDS and hemiplegia etc. The patients who come into government hosp are almost all poor people, and they basically came here and wait for their expiry time, czthey can never afford to pay for whatever surgery they needed. I'm damn unwilling to touch the patients(I know I must overcome this), cz they're too dirty n there's not even one basin for people to wash hand, damn!! Have to purposely climb 3 floors to go into the cleaner toilet to wash. Plus everyone here speak local language- Kanada, and even though i'd learnt some, but still useless in communicating with patients- u can ask que but u dunno wat they replying, so the whole posting become very cibai and boring sometimes...

Hmm, bout my course, got 4 major subjects now – Pathology, Pharmacology, Microbiology and Forensic, with all super thick books. These subjects are the hardest in the whole medical course, aiks..So far I haven study much yet, see the books oso sien. Then our new lecture room, though it's newly renovated, but air cond is not fixed yet, so damn hot, wanna sleep in the lecture room oso not comfortable, aiks.

Bout my life: Now no longer play so many games like last year. My Fable till now also not finished, at which my fren Liew finished it even though he started later, aiks, dun care... Had been going out a lot with my junior, and slept a lot cz too tired from the class... Bought a Fender Squier electric guitar to cure my boredness- dun wanna play so much game cz it's time consuming compared to playing guitar, somemore can horn my guitar skills, not bad.. Had stopped Mapling cz it's so boring doin Party Quest all the while, now level 44 Hunter still, but dunno y ppl like my bro CK can still stand it. Stopped Dota also cz no people to play with - Blueserver is too lag to play from here, and i'll never play against the stupid AI anymore as it made me noob, and friends here are always too busy with their study, aiks. Besides, i bought fish to be kept too(2 tiger barbs, 2 swordtail, and 1 blue fish; sadly one tiger passed away yday nite)… So now there are other living creatures in my room except me myself, making my room more lively, hehe... Bought a fridge too, can keep more food n cook more stuffs nowadays (though the fridge is placed in my fren's room)... Had watched a few great war movies - Platoon, Apocalypse Now; dunno y suddenly attracted to war movies, maybe I like to experience the darkness and – cruelty - the hell-like period of war always bring out the true nature of human beings-selfishness, betrayal, insane, cruelty, death, hope…. Am now reading Joshua Harish’s Boy Meets Girl, a book bout Christian courtship and marriage; about holiness in a relationship; bout the one who God prepare for you; about what is wrong and what is right…Had been struggling here for sometimes emotionally, so am now praying hard for God to guide me in this path; and pardon me cz I will not share my story here, hehe…

And ya, there was one event that we Malaysians, together with our juniors, organized – Merdeka Celebration in India, on 29^th of August…I was one of the committee, and we went through some hardship to make the thing work, but at last, we succeeded. It was quite a success, though it was the 1^st time there’d been anything like this being held in Mangalore city. We got to gather every single Malaysians studying in this place, and had some great time together, celebrating our independence. We invited the dean of our college and other head of departments, and they have had a great time too looking at our culture, our nation, our people, and of cz, our performances that particular night…I was in charge of all the slide shows and the stage thingy, so was kinda stressful that time, but luckily there's one person who'd caringly supported me all these while, 'thank you'… and then I performed in a couple of performances too – sang Top of the World with guitar, and deng deng deng,… Ultraman dance!!! Our dance was the last performance, and everyone was so syok looking at it, esp the local ppl, haha, and since that night, we 3 ultramen, Liew, Chong and me became celebrities, hehe..

Ok, gonna sleep liao… tired, tmr got class somemore, sien…

Ultraman Dance (KMC version)

My holidays so far...

I'd been home for bout 2 weeks plus now... Had not been doin much actully, kind of boring with most of my time spent sitting in front of comp and lying on the bed... All my friends are not here...

I bought a new hp - Sony Ericsson w810i. It had been my dream since bout 3 months ago, and i swear to get it with my own money (act JPA money) as a reward for myself if my pass my 1st MBBS exam... Anyway, i did pass, but only with second class (which means barely passed). It was a big relieve but still kind of let down as i think i could have done better, and hopefully i'll do better in my 2nd year. I love the phone very much, as it has all the functions i wanted. Once i got it, i gave away my mp3 player to ah zhen; my old nokia hp to ah kang and my digi cam to papa... So, this thing worth RM1700 is like 3 in 1, and to me it's kind of worthy, and it is ori..

I played a lot of comp games all these while at home...Had been Mapling a lot. Maple Story is a cute and adorable and simple and free online game, though it's kind of childish, but both my bros are playing, and i have friends playing too, so it's quite fun to spend my time (Now i'm lvl 32, very hard to level up dy, sien).. Oso, i'd played a lot of Battlenet Dota. At first i'm a real 'feeder', cz i'd became a super noob by playing against AI when i'm in Mangalore, so when come back home dunno how to play against human; but after much practice, become strong again dy, hehe. No more AI for me!!!


And oso, stayed up many nights to watch World Cup lor... In India, latest game start at 12.30am, but here in Malaysia start at 3am, jiak lat... My favourite team England was out in quarter final, damn!!! Was so so sad and dessapointed when they loss to Portugal.. Stupid Rooney got a red card but the other English players fought like a man with 10 men and were a better team, but in the end in the penalty shoot out England missed 3 out of 4, damn cibai, imagine Lampard and Gerrard miss, arghhh... Now the Finale is Italy vs France, and i tip Italy to win!!! Brazil, Argentina, Germany and England, so called the top 4 favourites, are all out... Sometimes i watched WC with friends outside when every restaurants with big screen are all crowded like hell, but there's a great fun watching football with so many footie maniac, not like India, dunno how to appreciate the 'beautiful game'...

Besides, i oso did some house chores for mum; read(reading Godfather now); play guitar(practicing Hotel California like mad); play some football alone; do some jogging with dad and watch hong kong drama... Haven go anywhere yet, will see... Anyway, being home is just good for me- stayin in the building i grew up in; seeing my dog Doby; listening to my mum's nagging; seeing my family members arguing...All these are home, and nothing is better...

It's the final countdown!!!

It's exactly 1 week before the final university exam... We were given a 2 weeks plus break to finish studying 3 heavy subjects with heavy big books - Anatomy, Physiology and Biochemistry. So as it seems, every fellow colleagues of mine started their zombie-like life - wake up, breakfast, STUDY, lunch, STUDY, dinner, STUDY, sleep... What a sufferings, what a waste of life. Now then, i started to hate medical student's life, and i realise almost all of the doctors out there are nerds and stereotypes... I really really need to pass this exam, cz if i fail, i'll need to come back for a second chance - the Supplementary Exam...And if i still fail, i'll need to stay for another year to repeat the whole damn thing, which i dun dare to think about... So, i'd better study like a nerd from now on, just for this one month... Friends, please pray for me...

It's exactly 18 days before the World Cup - the beautiful game, the world's game, where every households are 'supposed' to sit in front of the tv watching football... But that's not the case here in India... Well, we a few Malaysians are goin to occupy the tv room all time, screw all the seniors who wanted to watch cricket, World Cup comes first!! After the theory exam, we'll have breaks between our practicals, and we'll never miss those important matches... Who do i support? England of course!!! Without Wayne Rooney? Who cares when we have someone like Gerrard who can strike the ball so perfectly...

It's exactly one month before we go HOME!!! Malaysia!!! I'll be back on 17th June(it used to be 21st, but my exam finish earlier), till 1st of Aug, bout 1 half month... Really can't wait for the time to come - to shop, to eat, to play, to meet friends, to rest... Well, before i think of home, i should concentrate on my studies for the time being, though i'd always dreamt bout it... Ok, it's time to mug again..

Everything's changed, everything's different...

Have you ever experienced that suddenly you're in a place you once been, doing something fun you'd long never do, together with your group of close friends you really missed, and out of a sudden woke up and realise it's just a dream? A sweet and old memory of you and you'll never hesitate to be there just once again, to experience those best moments of your life once more.. Well, i do have that kind of dream quite oftenly, and when i woke up and realise i'm alone in the room, i couldn't wait for a chance to turn back time and be back there again...

People says, '男人志在四方'，which literally means "a man's ambition is all around the world"... A true man is supposed to go around the world searching for their ambition and get exposures, not holding anything back... I'd always find this verse inspiring whenever i'm depressed and miss home... Eventhough i'd been here in India for 9 months, i still miss many of the old places and my old friends ... Everything here is so different:
1. Food: still shitty though got used to them, really missed the variety of mouth watering Malaysian food.
2. Room: though more luxurious and have privacy ,but less fun-it's only me and my laptop, and books.
3. Friends: mostly studious and stereotype here; not that close compared to last time when we used to spend time chatting in the room, go out fot tea at late night, lepak in malls and play game in cyber cafe all the time.. This is how friendship is built, through fun and excitement, not by studying ownsleves in the room (that's why i miss my UITM frens so much)
4. Entertainment: my lovely laptop with internet and games and movies and songs, but one thing is that there's not enough dota kaki, boring... Beside, it's always i'm the only odd one when everyone is studying while i'm playing and relaxing, a fact that's making me more stressed up.
5. Sports: different kind of football here. I missed the futsal i used to play in UiTM; it's more to tension than fun playing football here with the seniors, it's like you have to run every moment and you can't do mistakes, what the heck??
6. Environment: dirty and much less inspiring, more to depressing to go out than to release tension, and i have problem 'loving' the people here.. I still think most of their life is 'cheap' by the way they live to let die. However, a mall had opened recently with pizza hut, hypermarket n cineplex inside, which is a boost though.
7. Studies: stress stress and stress. I really hate the studious life, hate seeing everyone locked in the room mugging the book and stopping all entertainments.. I wonder why medical school always wanted to produce stereotype and dull doctors, it's like they forced us into a life which aside from meals n sleep, every other time is meant for study.. Duh, stupid..

Well, there're certain things that'd never change, from last time till now:
1. Liverpool: still the lovely and romantic football team who shows the world how beautiful football can be, without dealing much with money and cheatings but with exciting football, extraordinary team spirit, great fans and fair play..The only difference is just that the team is stronger now, and even stronger it'll be...
2. Internet: really thankful i've got a good internet conenction here to update myself and to chat with my family and friends; Websites never change, they're the same no matter in which corner of the world you view them, and i cant imagine a life without internet with such exposure to the living world and connections to my fellow friends...
3. God, who's the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. I've had another perspective on God now.. I 'think', God is IN us, not out there looking at us.. He's always in us, but it all depends on which 'room' we put Him in, is it the biggest main room? or the small room at the corner? For me, sadly to say, had been hard to search Him in my heart now, i dunno in which room had i placed Him; i'd felt Him less, and remember Him less often... I tried to read His word, but it doesn't last long; i'd tried to go to church, but i can't wake up... Been really dried up, i think i'd become more a 'realistic' person than a 'spiritual' person..need help in prayers, really...
4. The image in the mirror- nothing much changed, still look young and handsome, hehe.. Maybe a year older, and it's not quite the same old me- though still lazy, rebelious, playful, and cool, but maybe a little bit more studious than last time, a bit more knowledgeable, a bit more foul words being said, a bit more bad tempered, a bit of language style change, a bit more realistic..

Environment changed me, though i'd never wanted to change... I'd always hope to stay young and enjoy whatever i want, and i'd wanted to change the environment around me(though quite success in some ways), but i'm still forced to change in order to live on (a evolutionary theory)... Time is tickling, life passes, people change, places evolve, but memory stays...
Obladi oblada life goes on brahhh...
Lala how the life goes on...
Obladi Oblada life goes on brahhh...
Lala how the life goes on.

Gangsta Movies!!!

Over the past 6 months, i'd watched a few really good gangsta movies, namely The Godfather I(1972), II(1974), and III(1990); Pulp Fiction(1994); Goodfellas(2000); and Cicade de Deus (2003)... I'm deeply influenced by all these 4 greatest movies of all time, (of course i do not mean i'm a big fuckin gangta now), but they made me understand more about the real life of gangsters, the organisation, the principles they hold, and more importantly, how the world actually runs... (Well, this is supposed to be a movies review about gangters, and please pardon me for uses of harsh languages)

The Godfather Trilogy (Francis Copolla) - Mario Brando, Al Pacino, Robert De Nero
This classic trilogy tells about the highest 'heirachy' of the Mafia organisation - the Mafia Head, or they call the Godfather... For people who do not know about Mafia: They are an organisation originated from Sicily, Italy, who moved to US and slowly and powerfully rulled over the cities, the banks, the churches and politics, all by selling 'services' and gain respect...
The stories tells about a young man, Michael Corleone, who'd never like to get involved in his dark family bussiness, after his father and brother died, slowly hold down the family bussiness and become a man who is most respected and feared.. Copolla did an artistic and awesome job in patiently guiding us through the whole life of this man who tried all he can to protect his family by killing anyone who pose a slightest threat on the Corleone's family and he got so strong politically and financially, but ended up losing the his family...This is a very dark and tragedic movie but at the same time deeply moving.. Here, we see that the Big Boss never get too much involved in laying his hand on dead people; all they need to build up their fame and respect is by killing someone else who's most feared, respected and hated, and after that there'll be many 'brothers' who'll voluntarily do the dirty jobs for them... All he need is a smart but evil mind, being cool but brutal, and at the same time loving but strict... Their main objective is to gain friendship, gain respect, and once you won over people's heart, money, fame, political power will follow. A fact i truly believe after watching the movie is that behind every GREAT successes, there's an unfold crime, say politician, big tycoon, bussinessman... you can't buy success with only certificate and knowledge, but with illegitimate ways most the time.

Favourite quotes: Michael Corleone:"My father made him an offer he couldn't refuse. Luca Brasi held a gun to his head, and my father assured the bandleader, that either his signiture or his brains would be on the contract."

Pulp Fiction (Quentin Tarantino) - John Travolta, Samuel L Jackson, Bruce Willis, Uma Thurman
This is kind of a crappy film actually, a fucked up story line, but with perfect actings, beautifully taken shots and accompanied with superb srcipt... Imagine a film with biggest names in Hollywood, how bad can it be.. This tells about the life of few really cool gangsters... Though they're gangters, Tarantino showed us that besides killing and taking drugs, they still have a simple life just like all of us... Imagine them talking most of the time about what Big Mac is called in French, how to do a foot massage, and about a 5 bucks milk shake( what the hell?!) Even the big boss may be one day fall into suckers hands and got fucked from behind (:O) This is how it is- real and totally entertaining...

Favourite quote: "I will strike down on you with great vengeance and furious wrath, and you will know i am the Lord, when i put my vengeance unto you.. Bang! Bang! Bang!"

Goodfellas (Martin Scorsese) - Lay Liotta, Robert De Nero, Joe Pesci
This is something like the modern version of Godfather... This tells about the life of a guy, Henry Hill, who'd always wanted to be a gangster since he's young- how he got himself into the gangster group, gained great respect and good money at a very young age; got a pretty bitch as wife; hooked up with 2 good friends (one of them smart and one of them crazy) and had a successful and fun life together robbing, hijacking, selling drugs, killing people, fucking around etc; Howver, among the gangsters, there's no real friendship. If your best friend has a propability of 'ratting' you when he's caught, you'll do nothing but 'whack' them off.. So, the gang ended up screwed by another gang and finally, Henry 'ratted' the whole family in order to safe his(though it sounds real uncool)... There's no other film that has ever made mob life look so real and feel so tangible the way this movie does.

Favourite quote: "One day the kids from the neighborhood carried my mother's groceries all the way home. You know why? It was outta respect. "
"And when the cops, when they assigned a whole army to stop Jimmy, what'd he do? He made 'em partners"
"Whenever we needed money, we'd rob the airport. To us, it was better than Citibank."

Cicade de Deus (Fernando Meirelles) - kid actors and actresses whom you'd never heard of
This is the first foreign independent film that i'd watched, based on a true story (it's Brazilian).. When you think about Brazil, you should first think about Football, and second about poverty, and third about crime, full of crimes... This amazing film tells about the lives of the children in a small city in Brazil called Rio de Janeiro... It's saddening and haunting to see the real life of the people living in the worst scenario of poverty, and the only way to survive through it is by holding a gun around killing, robbing, selling drugs, doping, fucking... It's not shocking to see in this movie children aged 4-5 holding a 9mm around killing and robbing and gain great money and respect... The town folks actually live their life on these robbers and killers cause they're the one who provide them money, and there's no hope depending on the government anyway...
The filming and the music are fantastic, a very well told story about this god-forsaken city...

Favourite quote: "Listen man, I smoke, I snort... I've been begging on the street since I was just a baby. I've cleaned windshields at stop lights. I've polished shoes, I've robbed, I've killed... I ain't no kid, no way. I'm a real man. "

"Metal Cross" band???

I have a band now. The "band members"are- Gary (lead guitarist), Ooi (basist), Nilabh(Drummer) and me(rhythm guitarist), plus Rajeev(body guard)... But we're still lack of a vocalist, which is the biggest problem of all to find a good n lasting one...
Last Sunday we went for a Battle of the Bands competition organised by MAHE... It's an intercollege thingy, and there were 6 teams.. This is the first time i perform on stage (save those CA worship team), and was excited plus nervous... Our band was only formed 2 weeks b4 the competition and since then, we do not have a vocalist until one day b4 the performance... So far we'd only practice 4 times in a small n old n simple 'jamming room'. The room is in a small neighbourhood, and everytime we played, the neighbours will come n complain, haha... Everything of the practice is money, money, money... We spent like 3000+ rupees including the guitars, the base, the amps, and of course the room.(ouch).. .So gyus, make full use of the instruments in church while u still can..
A day b4 the show, we managed to got a temporally vocalist from manipal and he came to practice with us on the final day few hours b4 we left for Manipal... That night, our band was the third group to perform... When we were back stage, we thought the previous groups were not so good, and we believed we could do better... But, when it's our turn, wow, the worst thing happened... The lead mic was soft; the drummer dropped his sticks; my guitar's volume is too loud n can't be adjusted,; we played out of beat most of the time... And the result is that, our band was the most funny and awful, muahahha...
We came back depressed and felt funny at the same time... Well, we'll be more determined next year and practice more, though i do not know how long our passion last.... Anyway, we'll be back!!!
"I got my first real six-string
Bought it at the five-and-dime
Played 'til my fingers bled
It was summer of '69
Me and some guys from school
Had a Band and we tried real hard
Jimmy quit and Jody got married
I shualda known we'd never get far
Oh when I lock back now
That was seemes to last forever
And if I had the choice
Ya - I'd always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life"
(Bryan Adams)

Science? Religions?

I'd just finished reading Dan Brown's Angels and Demons.. It's an awesome book which brings you into a breathless adventure of Langdon and his female compatriot, Vittoria in a duration of less then 48 hours... Imagine a thick novel telling a period of only 2 days but involve the Catholic church; the pope; CERN, Illuminati, BBC; Antimatter bomb and the whole world... I actually think this book is better than Da Vinci (at least it's not that anti-christian). Besides, I was most amazed by this particular speech by the Carmelingo when the sacred most 'Rock' and the whole Vatican is about to be destroyed:
“Medicine, electronic communications, space travel, genetic manipulation . . . these are the miracles about which we now tell our children. These are the miracles we herald as proof that science will bring us the answers. The ancient stories of immaculate conceptions, burning bushes, and parting seas are no longer relevant. God has become obsolete. Science has won the battle. ”

“Science may have alleviated the miseries of disease and drudgery and provided an array of gadgetry for our entertainment and convenience, but it has left us in a world without wonder. Our sunsets have been reduced to wavelengths and frequencies. The complexities of the universe have been shredded into mathematical equations. Even our self-worth as human beings has been destroyed. Science proclaims that Planet Earth and its inhabitants are a meaningless speck in the grand scheme. A cosmic accident.” He paused. “Even the technology that promises to unite us, divides us. Each of us is now electronically connected to the globe, and yet we feel utterly alone. We are bombarded with violence, division, fracture, and betrayal. Skepticism has become a virtue. Cynicism and demand for proof has become enlightened thought. Is it any wonder that humans now feel more depressed and defeated than they have at any point in human history? Does science hold anything sacred? Science looks for answers by probing our unborn fetuses. Science even presumes to rearrange our own DNA. It shatters God’s world into smaller and smaller pieces in quest of meaning . . . and all it finds is more questions.”

“Religion cannot keep up. Scientific growth is exponential. It feeds on itself like a virus. Every new breakthrough opens doors for new breakthroughs. Mankind took thousands of years to progress from the wheel to the car. Yet only decades from the car into space. Now we measure scientific progress in weeks. We are spinning out of control. The rift between us grows deeper and deeper, and as religion is left behind, people find themselves in a spiritual void. We cry out for meaning. And believe me, we do cry out. We see UFOs, engage in channeling, spirit contact, out-of-body experiences, mindquests-all these eccentric ideas have a scientific veneer, but they are unashamedly irrational. They are the desperate cry of the modern soul, lonely and tormented, crippled by its own enlightenment and its inability to accept meaning in anything removed from technology.
Who is this God science? Who is the God who offers his people power but no moral framework to tell you how to use that power? What kind of God gives a child fire but does not warn the child of its dangers? The language of science comes with no signposts about good and bad. Science textbooks tell us how to create a nuclear reaction, and yet they contain no chapter asking us if it is a good or a bad idea.”

“To science, I say this. The church is tired. We are exhausted from trying to be your signposts. Our resources are drying up from our campaign to be the voice of balance as you plow blindly on in your quest for smaller chips and larger profits. We ask not why you will not govern yourselves, but how can you? Your world moves so fast that if you stop even for an instant to consider the implications of your actions, someone more efficient will whip past you in a blur. So you move on. You proliferate weapons of mass destruction, but it is the Pope who travels the world beseeching leaders to use restraint. You clone living creatures, but it is the church reminding us to consider the moral implications of our actions. You encourage people to interact on phones, video screens, and computers, but it is the church who opens its doors and reminds us to commune in person as we were meant to do. You even murder unborn babies in the name of research that will save lives. Again, it is the church who points out the fallacy of this reasoning.”

“And all the while, you proclaim the church is ignorant. But who is more ignorant? The man who cannot define lightning, or the man who does not respect its awesome power? This church is reaching out to you. Reaching out to everyone. And yet the more we reach, the more you push us away. Show me proof there is a God, you say. I say use your telescopes to look to the heavens, and tell me how there could not be a God!” The camerlegno had tears in his eyes now. “You ask what does God look like. I say, where did that question come from? The answers are one and the same. Do you not see God in your science? How can you miss Him! You proclaim that even the slightest change in the force of gravity or the weight of an atom would have rendered our universe a lifeless mist rather than our magnificent sea of heavenly bodies, and yet you fail to see God’s hand in this? Is it really so much easier to believe that we simply chose the right card from a deck of billions? Have we become so spiritually bankrupt that we would rather believe in mathematical impossibility than in a power greater than us?”

“Ask yourselves, does the world really need a voice for the poor, the weak, the oppressed, the unborn child? Do we really need souls like these who, though imperfect, spend their lives imploring each of us to read the signposts of morality and not lose our way?”

A 'speech' given so clear-cut and yet truthful; so miserable yet so graceful. What do we need more, religion or science? Some people says we need something with proof, something with written facts? Something which can be seen, felt or measured. But does everything in science is proven? Can we touch light? Do we see electricity? Can we measure quarks? NO. And some people say religions are just some ancient myth which people created out of emptiness and hunger for hope. They ask, can we see, feel, or touch God? No, i suppose, will be the answer given by majority without pause.. However, i dare say "Yes". AT LEAST, though not me, there were plenty of records at which some people had these experiences of feeling, touching and seeing God. How about science? Is there any record for experience of feeling light and measuring quarks? AT LEAST not yet. So, at this point, which one do we consider fact? Which one do we consider reliable and trustworthy?

I always think people are too unreasonable and dumb to not 'see' God in science...Every nerves and vessels and muscles in the body; every arrangement of atoms and quarks in every material; all the stars and planets and cosmic in the space; the forces and momentum that we experience; every layers and cells in the plants... Does an iPOD just appear out of no where when we place some chips and electronical material into an empty box? Propability? Coincidence? Time? Force? (not to mention the nature is trillion times more complicated than an iPOD) Ask yourselves, does things so wonderfully integrate arts, science and complexity just appeared out of nothing?

"What is real? How do you define real? If you're talking about your senses, what you feel, taste, smell, or see, then all you're talking about are electrical signals interpreted by your brain. " Is God real? Is science truly real? Is it we believe in science because we're being taught to in young? The definition of a man on 'real' is how the mind interpretes and tunes the frequency. If one is brought up in a chapel and was taught how to experience spiritual and talk to spirit and at last experienced them, will he still believe in science? Or vice versa as in a boy taught about sciences since small? The 'tuning' of mind made a big difference.. Is our mind too tuned to the secular world and scientific method until we failed to experience the other unseen things?

Yes, science might save lifes; brings comfort; delivers entertainment; explains what is unknown.. But is it all in life, about living longer and happier and more knowlegeable? Or is there something more beyond these? Eternal? Hope? Love? The verdict is always yours...

Twenty Something

12th Feb, Sun - Today is my birthday. I'm 21 now. This is the first birthday i'd celebrated outside my country. On the night before the day, i'd never expected any celebration because the let down thing is that, the next day we're having our practical exam... Basically, i passed the 12am in my room, playing Civilization IV and listening to Jamie Cullum's 'Twenty Something', getting bday messseges from my friends around the world, and my frens here juz came into my room and wished me.. That morning, before we're goin out to have a lunch at Hao Hao Restaurant, my Mauritian fren, Rudy, crashed 2 eggs on my head, gosh, it's so smelly.. I was treated for my lunch, and also they bought me a decent chocolate cake and sang "Happy Birthday" to me in the restaurant.. The other time of the day was spent preparing for the practical exam next day... Though my day is simple and I'd never received any presents, but its quite fun and meaningful... People say, on the 21st bday, you'll be given a key as present- a key to enter adulthood, to become a more matured man, a man who is able to take care of himself well, and also able to take care of other people and many other things, apart from having the 'passport' to enter casino and to vote...
"After years of expensive education,
a car full of books and anticipation,
I’m an expert on Shakespeare and that’s a hell of a lot
but the world don't need scholars as much as I thought"

14th Feb, Tue - It's Valentine's day. I'm still single and available, and so do not have any date, except with my books, the next day is the last day of exam. In this 21 years, i'd never officially have a girlfriend. However, i had 2 very memorable crushes- one in the last year of my secondary school, and one during pre-u. Those were the time i'd really felt in love, and to experience most of the things a lover experienced - dreaming of the girl, feeling confused most of the time, distractions in studies, unsure of when to confess, thinking of her no matter where i am or what i'm doing, calling and messaging her, asking her out for a date, buying her presents, thinking about a future and a home with her, feeling jealous, etc... Anyway, for the time being, i'm enjoying my bachelorhood very much. Single is simple, and double is trouble. Now, I don't feel like being attached to anyone, or taking the responsibility of other person; i'm free to do anything i like, stay out as late as i could, being in a group with anyone, and there's no such responsibility to call or message someone all the time, or being disturbed by meaningless messages when i'm having a long deep sleep... I don't know when will i meet the one God prepared for me, but I'll wait, patiently, and prepare myself for it when the time comes... I'd always hoped for a relationship that will last forever (though i sounds impossible), and i hope i'll be able to love someone well and build a harmonious home with the one that i love and love me. (Oh well, i do received a valentine present from Liverpool for winning Arsenal 1-0, haha...)
"Maybe I'll just fall in love that could solve it all,
philosophers say that that’s enough,
there surely must be more.
Ooooh Love ain’t the answer nor is work,
the truth eludes me so much it hurts.
But I’m still having fun and I guess that's the key,
I'm a twenty something and I'll keep being me."

15th Feb, Wed - Exam is over. Though i do not think i'd done well, it's still a day to be celebrated... I hated the period of exams, and i'm upset with my life while preparing for it. I'd hardly slept for more than 4 hours a day as i burnt my midnight oil till very late, and also the period of time is too short for me to prepare all the papers well... I hated the condition when i know what will come out in the exam but not being able to study them due to lack of time and energy. I hated the last minute work. I hated the medical students' life of being tortured by the papers. And hence, i told myself to study constantly, to read something everyday because the amount needed to be memorized is so much that i can't feed on all of them and digest them and absorb them in short period of time, and so i think the key is to repeat them over and over again, to understand them and digest them slowly bit by bit when there's time...
That night, my classmates celebrated my belated birthday at a Palkhi Restaurant. Though we do not eat enough for that dinner, but the environment was great and i enjoyed it. This time i'd received a chocolate bar, a cup of special milk shake and a card.

16th Feb, Thurs - Class commenced as usual. Though the attendance was poor, i still went to all the classes in order to make up my missed classes in the past 2 sems, as attendance is really important.. I'd found out a new way to spend my time in the lecture hall apart from doing my lab records - reading story books.. Last time, when i'm too lazy to listen to those boring lecture, i would be sleeping on the bench, but with an extra interesting story book beside me, i'll be using my time more usefully, hehe...

18th Feb, Sat - My friends from Manipal came over to visit us. We went to a nearby beach which i'd never discovered... We took auto to a river bank, and crossed a river full of jelly fish on sampan, and reached an island with a beautiful beach... The sand is quite smooth and the sea water is quite clean, plus the sunset is amazing... We played around like crazy monkeys, splashing sea water on everyone and 'applying' sands on everyone's face, running around and shouting around, trying to give away all the stressfulness of the exam... We returned home dirty and full of sand, exhausted... We took a great dinner at Hao Hao again, and that night me and my friend Yi Pin were sleeping together on a smalll single bed, which i don't sleep well... Anyway, a real boost for me that day was Liverpool won Man Utd in FA Cup, and i teased all my ManU friends here (Liverpool took the revenge, haha)

19th Feb, Sun - I skipped church, again( sorry Lord)... We all went to Manasa Water Park which is about 30 mins away... The water park is quite decent, with few long water slides... A whole big bunch of us had great fun in the water, being crazy once again... I'd never expected this town would have this kind of park, though it's uncomparable with Sunway Lagoon, but it's ok, at least there's some place we could release our stress in the future... We took our lunch at Cherry Square, and returned even more tired and sleepy... My friends from Manipal left and life is back to quiet and normal once again... I watched Godfather II once again, and Silence of the Lambs that night, and lastly slept soundly after a tiresome week...
"I don't want to get up, just let me lie in,
leave me alone, I'm a twenty something."

My Year 2005 In Review

Time flies, people say... But since i came to India, to me time is slower than tortoise, i dunno why, life here is so depriving to live on...I know it's kinda late to write a post on new year at this time, but late is better than never, heh... Life after coming back to India is as boring and busy as usual, it's never the same when "everything seems so fine" back in M'sia...Now let me begin writing on my life last year, 2005, and I would like to divide it into few categories:

Study: During the first half of the year, I was still in UITM, Shah Alam. Life is actually so much fun and relaxing there compared to here—Cemara hostel, sleep during lectures, wait damn long for the UITM-luxurious-AC bus, argue with the guard bout short pants, write complaints to Star, play football right after class, go for Dota even exam is tomorrow, watch football in mamak, ‘chor dai di’, play guitar, CA, drive van, section 25, Wira Sejati, Cili Merah, Giant, Dota in Subang, Mid Valley, Pyramid, argh…. I missed those days. Anyway, I was just able to get 13 points from my A level, and I got to fly here…however, I’d never regretted that, though I only get 13 points, I’m still at the same shitty place as all my friends who got 15. Besides, i enjoyed so many things which not many people had experienced, so i think it's worth lossing 2 points for these kind of happiness and excitements and friendships.
The second part of the year was spent in this new world of India… Things were really bad at first, but slowly, I’m able to adjust. Suddenly jumped into the past, and every where here is so dirty and old fashioned. It was also the first time i stayed in an ancient hostel, and eat 'dhar' and 'chapati' and indian spices everyday (which made me puke at first); but currently i'm staying in a five-star new hostel and got used to the better food served in this new hostel (thanks to JPA).. This year, the lecture hall is now furnished with AC, and many parts of the campus is under renovation… Hmm, i did my first sectional exam before holiday, able to pass Anatomy and Physiology but sadly and predictably failed Biochem...
New year resolution: To change my study habit and be more hardworking, do not bunk classes if not necessary, and most importantly to pass my first year MBBS well, but at the same time, enjoy my life, hehe...

Sports: Football, football… Badminton and ping pong once a while… I was very used to playing futsal on flat ground in UITM, and was developed in that as a striker, but this year I started playing with local seniors in big field, and I suck in it—no speed, no strength, and no vision, aiks.. gonna improve more and slowly get used to big grass field, and of course, wearing the studded boots.
New year resolution: To visit gym regularly in order to build up my body, hehe( too skinny), and also improve my skills in football, as well as playing badminton once a while... See, all work and no sports make Kelvin a weak boy :P

Games: GTA San Andreas is the best… Apart from Dotaing with friends when i was in UITM, I’d oso played Diablo2 (again), NFS: Underground 2, Condition Zero, Hitman 3, Civilization IV, Football Manager 2006, and ProEvolution Soccer (now only I realize FIFA is shit). Playing multiplayer games with my mates here are always great fun apart from the hectic and stressful medical student's life, haha.
New year resolution: Play more new and good games to relax and spend my free time, also more importantly to stimulate my mind... There's a report saying a doctor who play game is a better surgeon, both in finger skillfulness and mind thinking, hehe... Playing game also strengthen the friendship and bond between my friends here. So since playing games brings so much benefits, why not?

Books: Finsihed reading Rich Dad Poor Dad, CS Lewis’ The Four Loves, The Hobbits, Five People You Meet In Heaven, and of course A-level books and now, a whole tonne of medical books… I'd always fancy good fiction books since text books make me sick... I'll always encourage people to read more fictions than studying text books cause reading makes you think smarter, more creative, more innovative, and also be more alert to the surroundings and happenings... Reading brings you closer to the 'real world' for a life time than studying(which only guide you during exam in that few hours of time).
New year resolution: My plan is to read at least 2 books every half a year during holidays, and after 5 years, i'll had finished 20 books, wow!!

Movies: I’m very particular in movies. I expect a lot from Hollywood productions (since Hong Kong movie industry is near hopeless). I always go for movies with a good plot, good actings, and good meaning. The few movies which I'd watched and like in the year 2005 are: Star Wars 3: Return of the Sith, Million Dollar Baby, Batman Begins, and Narnia… I don’t go to cinema very often but I’ll never miss those blockbusters, though some are quite disappointing to me(of which i'll not name here)… Besides, I’d also learnt more about what 'good movies' really are last year. I'd did some 'reseach' on the web on those "Greatest Movies of All Time", and downloaded some good movies such as The Godfather 1, 2, 3, Saving Private Ryan, Schindler’s List, Memento, Silence of the Lamb, Pulp Fiction, Shawshank Redemption…After viewing all these had renewed my prespective on movies into a higher level, hehe, kinda boasting huh? Oh, last year was also the first time I actually watch Japanese anime, but I'd been only watching and following Bleach… And of course, one of the best 2 hour ‘movies’ that I liked the most and take proud of is the match at which Liverpool won AC Milan in the Champion’s League final thriller…
New year resolution: Watch more 'good' movies. Since i have unlimited broadband now, watching any movies is free, so why not take this advantage to watch more? I'd had no interest in any Hindi movies yet, hehe. Watching Hollywood movies actually improves my english, makes me a more creative and knowledgeable person, and teaches me more about histories...