SOS call from the Black Paradise (part 3)

I get depressed every time I see the local people sleeping by the road side; scavenging the rubbish and walking around bare-footed. The roads are full of holes and mud, and the air is so polluted with exhaust smoke and dust. It is so emphatic and disgusting to see all these conditions. Majority of the people here do not have health conscious at all. They don’t value their life, and they simply live and let die. All of us Malaysians feel ‘out-of-the world’ here. It is so depressing to see all these sickening and gloomy conditions everyday. I hardly feel cheered-up, but instead get tenser, stressed up and feel down n moody. I feel that my life is being “down-graded” here, no longer caring about the latest news, latest technologies, latest music, latest movies or latest fashion happening around the world because all these things are not important in this place.

I still feel far lagging behind in classes because I was absent in lectures for a long time due to my health problem. Many of my fellow friends here also share the same difficulty in study. All of us get sick almost every week. Besides, the education system here only requires memorizing. There’s no such thing as problem solving or group discussions. All I need to do to pass my exam is just to listen and study and memorize. It does not stimulate our right brain- our creativity, our artistry, our critical thinking, and our logic. Furthermore, we have no entertainment and sports here. There’s nothing else to be done except to sit down and study. In this kind of environment, i'll die!!! I believe one day, after 5 years here, I will get more dumb n stupid, like most of the local ppl (they quite dumb in doin many things, and their work rate is reallly inefficient..)

Some more, in the 2nd year, i’ll be exposed to the patients in the local hospital. The condition of the local general government hospital is really bad. My seniors told me you’ll vomit when you get there. Besides, I need to learn their local languages-Karnada, in order to communicate with the local patients. Imagine we all practicing in such a bad conditions and talking in an alien language, will it be helpful when we return to Malaysia to practice medicine? Will we be able to talk fluent Malay, mandarin and English with the Malaysian patients at that time? I doubt it.
I came to India with a high n adventurous spirit , determined to do well in my study and excel to be a good doctor, but unfortunately, those dreams are shattered. I no longer enjoy my study here, not having a healthy and happy life, and more importantly, many of my friend got stressed up and potentially having emotional problem.

Now, since the past 2 weeks, JPA officers had been meeting parents, education minister, and even prime minister, discussing bout our condition and what they can do... JPA are under great pressure from many parents who're BIG person, and the main point they're discussing now is- to move us out of this place and place into other places, most likely IMU!!! Many things are being evaluated and done, and there's quite a big possibility that it will happen... I'll definitely wanna leave!!! Some of my frens wanna stay, but majority are leaving... I'll pray hard for this, and may God's way be done... anyway, i'm sick of this place, except my room of course...

Where Is God When There Is Pain

On 20th Sept, Tue, i was admited into KMC Hospital due to severe stomach pain and non-stop vomiting, and after some careful check-ups, the doctor said that i had acute appendicitis.. the next day of hospitalization, i was asked for operation, but i refused (of course i'm scared, feeling alone abroad, and somemore it was my 1st time being admited into hosp in my whole life, and for sure, the 1st time being confronted by operation), but later on, all my frens and my parents asked me to go for it, cz it's only a minor op, and if u dun do it now, sooner or later it'll get more serious...and so the next day(22nd sept), when i finally made up my mind, the doctor suddenly said that the appendix had evolved into a mass, and it is not the right time to have op as it might hurt other parts of the body, and there's a danger... So, conservative treatment is being carried out (by dripping of antibiotics n glucose).. Operation can only be done after at least a month, when the mass subside...i can't eat for the period, and also i kept on vomiting (though ntg came out, but it was really painful and troubling)..like this, i'd not eaten or even , and was really wedrank anything for a week, i'm very weak n lonely n moody during that period... that was the time i started blaming, "y i'm so sick?" , "y i'm being put in this stupid place-india?","y i'm not healed though i'd stayed in hosp for so long and there were so many ppl praying for me?", "y i can't feel God's comfort n healing?" My parents got really really worried, and they decided to fly here to look after me... on 26th sept-my dad, my mum, n my grand-aunt reached... they brought many foods n chinese nutritious herbs for me, though i still cant drink and eat that time(vomiting still).. however, i'm really lightened up to see them, and due to their tender care and their presence by my side, i recovered fast.. Finally, i was able to eat n there's no more pain...I was discharged on Sat, 1st Oct after 10 days of hospitalisation.. I'm planning to do my op in Malaysia when i go back for 3 weeks vacation(cz parents are there n they can look after me n take care of my food)...However, i need to be extremely careful with the food i take in these 2 months time- no spicy, no oily, well-cooked (which is quite impossible to get here in mangalore).. I need to cook myself, and the mess is very helpful in preparing me 'special' food... please pray that nothing bad will happen to my stomach during these period..

One thing that surprised me the most is that my parents' journey was extremely smooth- they came across many problems but all the problems were just solved easily; they met many angels along the way( obviously God is working in a wonderful way)... Besides, almost all of my class mates from Malaysia came n visited me everyday, and there'd been many ppl around the world praying for me and sending me SMS and calling me- frens from UiTM, Kuantan, KL, and even US, UK, Germany, Australia etc.. I'm wondering how the news are able to spread that fast, but I'm really thankful to all my dear frens... I was treated like a VIP in the hospital.. firstly, i'm shifted into Special Ward with tv (i'd watched many many movies on HBO n STAR MOVIES and football in ESPN), and many VIPs visited me- the Dean of KMC, the Head of Student Affairs, Chief Warden of my hostel, doctors, the pastor n local church members and JPA officers(3 of them came to visit India bound students)...almost every staffs in the hospital know me (i'm the only foreigner in the whole hosp, 2gether with my family)... Finally, I'm able see light, God's light, shining on me through other ppl.. i feel important suddenly,i realize that God is in control and He loves me n care for me still... Though He might seems distant sometimes when there's pain, i know He's still out there looking at me, and continue His plan on me... Though i might not feel Him, nor touch Him, see Him, He's nothing but Real, and He's there all the time, everywhere...

I would like here to convey my most heartly thanx to all my friends, church members, family members, and everyone who cared and prayed... Thank you and God bless!!!! :)